Thursday, 31 March 2011


What is it with Celine Dion? It seems the good people of Kwara State can't get enough of her. If she were to do an open-air concert in Ilorin Stadium she would fill the place to bursting - especially if there was a snack promised during the interval!
The car mechanics opposite us never seem to tire of her yodelling and if there is a need to bang and hammer at metal objects in the process of their work, then they just turn up the volume. Someone in our compound who I have yet to identify owing to the fact that Miss Dion's warblings echo and reverberate from all surrounding walls and premises, feels the need to entertain the neighbourhood at regular intervals with ALL of her greatest hits.
Even the local barber salon is no refuge. Along with a trim, I was treated to an MTV performance of Celine Dion which seriously impaired a reasonable conversation over footy, to the extent that I'm sure the barber of Sabo-Oke now thinks I DO support Arsenal, Chelsea and Man U, thereby hedging my bets over supporting this season's contenders for the Premier League Championship.
As I write, spooky or what! - CD has just come on in the bakery next door - occasionally drowned out by the noise of industrial machinery in action - Miss Dion usually wins this battle too!
Kwara Radio seems to have only Celine Dion discs in their 'western music' collection, with regular playings interrupting irritating adverts in which the only words I recognise are 'Only 50 Naira!' - possibly the current market price of a CD CD at the Emir's Palace Market.
I half expect to hear her blasting out at 1.30 am through the loudspeaker system of  our local Baptist church on some sort of tape loop. I hope she never records an album of Best Loved Hymns and Psalms or I'll be turning to drink - and I don't mean 'Maltina' (have you ever tasted anything so foul?')
Still, it could all be so much worse - it could be Whitney Houston - then I would seriously have to consider going home!

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